August 28, 2015
ON MARRIAGE: “I always thought I’d get married, but once I had a child I realized it wasn’t necessary. I started to believe more in partnership. The whole idea of marriage is a double-edged sword for me. It's confusing, even though I like the idea of splitting everything down the middle with someone, and having the paper security. When I was with my son’s father he was my best friend so we didn’t feel a need to get married. A part of me of wanted to have a big dress and a fuck-all wedding — but I honestly would have settled for fishing wire instead of a wedding band.”
ON CO-PARENTING: “My son’s dad is so supportive. Even though we are technically not together, he’s still my partner. Without him, I couldn’t do what I do. In order to be a birth worker you have to have a supportive family that's willing to drop everything within a moments notice.”
ON COUPLES AND CHILDBIRTH: “I definitely notice if a couple has been together for a long time. You can feel the trust between them. They know each other like the back of their hands. I’ve also worked with women who have gotten pregnant accidentally and have stayed with the dad because they think they should, and it definitely shows up in the labor. She wants to be alone. She disconnects, and detaches, and doesn’t lean on him at all. Overall, it changes with every family. I’m constantly learning about dynamics and human nature each time I attend a birth.”
ON PREGNANCY AND WEDDINGS: “If you’re planning a wedding while you’re pregnant, you need to take it easy — literally and physically. My sister Jemima got married when she was nine months pregnant and she could barely walk, she was so huge. She wore a big silk muumuu. We made a crown for her out of twigs and flowers, and covered her chuppah in a million different kinds of wild roses. The ceremony was in the garden and there were only forty people there. It was so fucking beautiful. I love a shotgun wedding.”
BRIDAL STYLE ICON: "Mia Farrow. Her classic beauty and short hair and effortlessness is so beautiful. A done-up bride makes me crazy. I love a woman who’s like a clean canvas, who you can just look at and understand anyone would fall in love with her.”
DREAM WEDDING: “Definitely Janis Joplin and Rick Danko, the bass player from The Band. I’d wear a floral print fifties housewife dress and a hat with a mini veil. Kris Kristofferson would be my date, and we’d spend the after party in a pub dancing to the The Band.”
FAVORITE LOVE MOVIE: “"Coal Miner’s Daughter'."
FAVORITE LOVE SONG: “’I Can’t Make You Love Me' performed by Bonnie Raitt."
FAVORITE LOVE BOOK: “'Book Of Longing' By Leonard Cohen."