Lesley + Paul
I met Paul at my friend Chelsea's birthday party. I thought "Who is that mega hunk?!" On our first date we were talking so much during dinner that we almost missed the movie, which was Attack The Block-- great first date movie.
Paul is a kind and fair person. He's has no pretense, no posture, he's the most unaffected person I know. I knew he was the one after I was really upset over something and was just a crying mess. Paul didn't give me advice or a pep-talk, he just held me and let me cry until I felt better. I felt so safe with him in that moment and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I said "I love you" before he said it. Like, I would say it a lot. I said, "Look, I love you, and you don't have to tell me you love me, but would it bother you if I told you? Because that's how I feel." He said it wouldn't bother him, so all the time I was like "Bye! I love you!" and he would say "Bye!" For about a month. I knew he loved me and I respected the fact that he had to say it on his own, when he was ready. And then it was my birthday and he woke me up and said he loved me. I was all, "I know, thank you, I love you too, but I'm not ready to wake up yet..."
We always talked about marriage and kids, etc. I told him we didn't have to have a wedding and we could even buy each other rings, or that I would split the cost of the engagement ring with him-- but he wanted a wedding. He wanted to buy me a ring. I think it's a rite of passage for some men and they just need to go through their own process with it all. I did, however, send him many links of rings I loved. And he got me the one I loved the most.
I was so excited! In terms of "fuck weddings," I mean, I didn't want to have a cookie cutter wedding, but it meant a lot to me to make such a huge commitment in front of the people I love. The morning of, I ordered a big breakfast, ate a lot of it! Drank too much coffee because people kept bringing me coffee, which is always great. I woke up around 930am-- which is late to most people but early for me (on a non-work day).
Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. The music was Chan Marshall (aka Cat Power) singing a cover of "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure with our friend Michael Cassady accompanying her on piano. My only regret is that I don't have a video of of the ceremony, hence no recording of Chan singing that song, which fucking blew me away.
No wedding party really. My sister was my MOH and Paul's BFF Neil Campbell was the best man. My BFF Sarah Heyward was the officiant. They all wore whatever they wanted. The wedding was at this American Legion Hall in Hollywood called Post 43. We had 150+ people (we invited a lot of people to crash later in the night) and the weather was perfect but it was indoors anyway. We had a Mexican buffet.
When Paul and I danced to "Try A Little Tenderness" [we] went completely buck nuts. So much dancing! Everyone left around 130am. My family and friends play a huge part in who I am today, and I never would've met Paul if it weren't for them. I was so grateful and really wanted to share it with everyone.