As soon as they were done with the songs, James lept over the barricade and ran over to introduce himself.

I first met my husband on tour (hence the nickname "tour crush"), when my old band Morningwood was opening for his band, Mindless Self Indulgence. As soon as they were done with the songs, James lept over the barricade and ran over to introduce himself and shake my hand. I remember thinking he was goofy-looking and incredibly nice. Only later did I find out that he had seen a picture of me and thought "man I wanna get with her" (in less polite terms), and for him to jump down and introduce himself is quite out of character. Our first "date" was a night or two later in Philly. We walked for a long time, talking and flirting, and at some point we kissed on the pier on the water. Then we went back to the stairwell of the Holiday Inn and talked and made out for five hours. Then we watched the sun come up on the pier and walked to get bacon and eggs and a tiny diner in a hole in the wall in Philly. It was perfection. 



I was quite the player and conquistadora, so I've only had a small number of real "boyfriends" and I don't count someone I hook up with for a few weeks as a boyfriend. So my old boyfriends were all usually blonde and innocent, and I was always the boss. Very nice boys. With James, I loved what he had to say and I loved being with him; it was more than butterflies. He was dirty and funny and sweet and just everything I was ever looking for, and things I didn't even know I was looking for. I know for sure that the first time we said " love you," I was staying at The Grafton in LA on tour, and James came to visit me because he lived in LA (I still lived in NYC at the time).  We were in an intimate embrace on the bed and were staring at each other, and it was just so fucking intense, and I started crying. 




I honestly don't remember the first time marriage came up. I think we both just felt it was right and that we had met that person that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The ring was very simple -- just a band with a small diamond inside of it and a "secret" diamond  on the inner band.  Since I designed my ring I knew that we were going to get engaged; I just didn't know where or when, so I was very surprised when it actually happened. We were planning on having a giant wedding in the redwoods because that was the only thing that didn't skeeze me out. But one morning in January of 2008, I woke up and said, "let's just do it." James and I did everything ourselves to get ready (getting flowers, cakes, champagne, chairs, etc...). There were about twenty-four people in total at our wedding. My ninety-five-year-old grandpa walked me down the aisle as Nina Simone's "What More Can I Say" played, and I sobbed like a damned baby the entire time. Afterwards we went to The Palm. We love it there, and everyone ordered what they wanted. Then we had a big party at our place and invited a ton of friends and danced the night away. We had our honeymoon in Bora Bora in French Polynesia. I got the worst burn of my entire life, and even though I had to spend pretty much every day inside, it was still the best vacation I've ever been on.