We walked down the aisle together, no music.

I was at the CYNTHIA ROWLEY store in the West Village. I had been admiring a pair of purple gloves with zippers along the wrists, and Cynthia said that a friend of hers had just bought them for a woman he was dating. I off-handedly responded that I wanted to date the guy who would buy those gloves for a girl. She said that was a great idea and dashed up to her office, returning a few minutes later with a photo of Nick on the beach with her kids. She informed me that he and the glove girl had broken up. I went home and googled him, and discovered we had gone to the same high school but many years apart. As nuts as this sounds, I truly went to sleep that night thinking I was about to meet my husband.



At our wedding, we had sixty-five guests at Nick's mother and step-father's house in LA. We had a ceremony on a small piece of grass outside, then a dinner in their living room with long tables in a U-shape. We wanted a small, intimate wedding. We wanted to feel that everyone who was there was an integral, meaningful person in our lives. Nick's uncle, Kevin,  a buddhist teacher and minister, officiated. The weather was stunning.


The craziest moment was probably several hours before the actual wedding when I had a total emotional breakdown and my husband-to-be led me sobbing up the hill in Brentwood to an overlook and talked me down off the ledge. I'm not sure what the ledge was even about. I had no doubts about getting married, but I think I felt tremendous anxiety about crossing over some imaginary threshold into true adulthood and I fully lost my shit.




We wrote our own vows, which I really recommend doing. We walked down the aisle together, no music. We had three flower girls: Cynthia Rowley's two daughters and Nick's cousin, Graham. I carried a pair of calla lilies tied with the same twine from my ring. Dinner was family-style and included: assorted salumi, nuts, and olives at the table; two different salads; mussels & clams; a pork loin; a vegetarian pasta; green beans; winter squash; a cheese course; and pie and ice cream for dessert. After the wedding, we spent ten days in Hawai’i--Kauai, where we rented a small house in Maui. Overall, I would not have changed a thing.