He was a skinny punk rocker with messy bleached blonde hair and clothes that were too big.

Tom and I met in Vancouver in 1998 at a concert. I was eighteen. The very first time I saw him I thought he was adorable. He was a skinny punk rocker with messy bleached blonde hair and clothes that were too big. You know, that look which was hot in the nineties! We talked briefly and he mentioned he was in a band called "Gob." Back in Los Angeles, I saw a flyer advertising "Gob from Canada" who were playing a show the next day. My friend and I went and after the set we went up and re-introduced ourselves to Tom. He and I talked for quite some time until he had to leave to drive to the next Gob show. They were set to record a record that fall, but we decided to keep in touch and I gave him my beeper number, and so began our relationship.




I met Tom right after high school and we've been together for pretty much my entire adult life. When I met him, he was instantly the most open person I'd ever met. He was very straightforward, funny, and sensitive, the kind of guy who is close to his mom and sheds a few tears during sad movies. Yet, at the same time, he's the punk rocker with a mohawk. We've been together for seventeen years now. We were just kids when we met and we've grown up together. I won the lottery when it comes to life partners. I don't recall if there was a lightning bolt moment where I knew he was "the one," but in a way, I feel like I've always known.



We'd talked about marriage every once in a while after two years of dating. We were still very young then, and we were in a long distance relationship for much of that time so we weren't in any hurry. Then after six years, it just became less of an interesting topic to discuss. I think we had decided that we were going to be together and didn't see the point in making anything official. Then after the ten year mark, the topic came up again, but it was mainly something our parents would talk about. It was really our families that wanted to see our union "officialized."


We were engaged for about two years before we even thought about planning a wedding. At first I was overwhelmed. I just couldn't imagine myself having a "princess-y" wedding, and I didn't know where to start. But my best friend, Giovanna, convinced me that it would be fun, and that it's better viewed as throwing a party for our friends and family. Our wedding was pretty DIY. I designed the invitations and save the dates, my friends and I made confetti, Giovanna's mom did our table flowers. Giovanna was my guru throughout, her enthusiasm was infectious and I don't know what I would have done without her. We dreamed up a dessert table and designed the cakes together. She even designed my dress.



Our wedding was at the New York Academy of Medicine in the library. It was a brisk November day and we had 110 guests. NYAM was the first place that came to mind when we thought about wedding venues. I was a medical student at Mount Sinai, which is just a few blocks away from NYAM, and had visited the rare book room a few times so I was familiar with the place. The building is gorgeous and unique. When we toured the venue they had an exhibit of beautiful tiny leather books. It was the perfect art-meets-science venue for us. We also loved the absurdity of throwing a party in a library.


All of my best friends were in my wedding party: Giovanna, my sister, Jeannette (who also our officiant), my best guy friend Tom Suberman who we call "Sube", and my BFF from high school, Shelley. The girls wore grey polka dotted party dresses. Sube wore a grey suit. I wore a gown by Honor, designed by Giovanna. Tom's groomsmen were his bandmates: Steve, Cone, Steven, Gabe, and his brothers Charles and Jamie. The groomsmen wore their own grey suits with matching ties. Tom wore a custom suit by Bindle and Keep and his grandfather's fedora. Our wedding was wonderful. Having our friends and family together in one space was amazing, I didn't want it to end. I wish we could do it again, every year.