We wanted the wedding to feel casual and laid back, so we did a lot of it ourselves.

We were paired up at a doubles tennis tournament hosted by Graham’s friends.  I was told Graham would be my partner and that I didn’t need to worry because he was also a really bad tennis player.  We lost quickly and Graham didn’t say very much (he now says he was just playing it cool). Two years later, Graham and I both turned up at a mutual friend’s house on Fishers Island for the Fourth of July. We were playing pool against a pair of college kids and won. A friend said we made a “good team,” hoping to give us a little nudge. It worked; on the walk back to the house Graham kissed me.




He asked me to go see Bill Cunningham New York. I could have spent every day with him from that first date on, but he took things slow in the very beginning, which made me even more interested. That said, I kept waiting for things to unravel, for some sign that things would not work out. In the fall, he told me he loved me and it was the first time I could imagine spending the rest of my life with someone. Graham proposed about a year after we started dating at the top of the Little Red Lighthouse under the George Washington Bridge.


He says he knew the day after our first kiss that there was a good chance we’d end up together forever, but I was still surprised when he asked that day. We got married at Graham’s parents’ house in Dutchess County, New York. At first, I couldn’t imagine putting his parents through it; hosting 120 people seemed like a big ask, but they were genuinely excited.  The wedding party was made up of our siblings, best friends from college, two childhood friends, plus a cousin thrown in for good measure.



We didn't want to put any pressure on them by asking them to buy stuff that they'd likely never wear again, so the guys just wore navy jackets with light pants. The girls wore white linen dresses that I dreamt up and my mom's friend offered to make. We wanted the wedding to feel casual and laid back, so we did a lot of it ourselves. I asked my grandmother to help me put together bouquets and boutonnieres. It ended up being a bigger job than we thought and everyone pitched in, even my sister’s boyfriend put together a bouquet or two. We had so many flowers left over that some of the girls made flower crowns in the yard after lunch.


We decided to serve dinner family style so it felt less formal. We had grilled chicken with chimichurri, yogurt flatbreads with onions and mushrooms, rice pilaf and grilled vegetables. We wanted simple food, the type of stuff you’d make at home. Graham and I spent the majority of the night on the dance floor with all our friends and family, mostly because the band kept playing our favorite songs but also because the temperature dropped to about 50 degrees after the sun went down.  Everyone had to dance to keep warm.